Frozen within time;

2011-12-31T06:41:00.014+08:00

I remembered how I felt four months ago.

Uncertainty, turmoil, and somewhat positive. It's amazing how fast-paced and dynamic the days and hours passed by, now that I am looking back. I've been through the expected and of course, the unexpected. I completed things that I never thought I would, I grew stronger, my mind became tougher and most importantly, I found a new gauge on my abilities and limits.

This coming week, the first phase of my career will be ending after a 24km route march. Yes, career. If nothing goes too astray, I will be spending the next 5/6 years in the Republic of Singapore Navy and the sea will be my second home. Gave some lengthy and serious thoughts, considered all alternatives and yes, my signature is now penned down on that contract; that contract that will alter the development of my story. To be honest, I have NEVER considered signing on in the past. The idea itself was insane, I used to think. So, this is a definite pivotal point that I will look back 2, 5, 10 years down the road and when I do so, (I hope) I will tell myself now that I've made the right decision.

As it stands, I am determined to succeed in everything that comes along my way. 2012 is going to be exceptionally colourful.

The waves that quiver the ocean,

the resolve that bolsters the ground.

2011-11-07T06:41:00.006+08:00

It's been a fruitful two months.

I've achieved aplenty; both physically and mentally. I set goals for myself as waypoints on this journey to constantly upkeep up my motivation and sense of satisfaction and so far, it has been good. Even though I might not able to reach my final target, I already set sights on what I will become if I landed on my second choice. Just need to keep pushing through for now.

And I just had some Mcbreakfast and am now blogging while sipping on my iced milo at six plus in the morning. This is some life I never used to think I will lead. Not too bad, not too bad.

2011-09-07T00:30:00.005+08:00

Was packing my room today and found a stack of letters and cards collected from people dear to me over the past three years. Took every single one of them out and reread them, and I gotta say I've come a long long way since the start of poly. It's quite a read and; surprisingly motivational, especially at this sensitive point, at which tekong is just less than 35 hours away. Certain pivotal moments turned around, others continued with grace.

Talking bout the 35 hours, big change of environment and lifestyle. Yes, I've heard enough stories and I sort of know what I will be going through already, but nothing ever prepares you emotionally enough, EVER. This delicate bowl of feelings is made up of excitement, anxiety and nervousness. Much like a first day of school feel, for those who can't comprehend.

Either way, looking forward to the bonding again with this new bunch of friends.

2011-09-03T04:06:00.005+08:00

Today, I spoke to someone I haven't spoke to in a long long while.

Of all the friends and acquaintances, she knows me the best.

I deem myself as an unpredictable facade, one that is difficult to see through but there is this just one or two person that just possesses something you call true sight.

They read you like a book, and mind you, they can predict the ending just by reading the first chapter.

She was telling me how low profile I would be, involving a BGR. I was thinking back at what she said, and yeah indeed, she makes absolute sense. I was having recollections bout the girls I've dated, and in all truth, yes, I am semivisible in the relationship world. I always knew I wasn't the loudest out there in sharing these sort of things, but she sees it all. She tells me to stop hiding.

I could be having the greatest crush on a girl and I can contain it. I could be chasing a girl and the sea will still look the calmest as it can be. I don't share with people about whom I am dating, I don't tell people much. In fact, I don't even tell people when I go on dates, except a few. I only tell people there are "happenings" and really, only a certain few knows the exact details of these "happenings". I choose certain people in confiding and I can tell you, these people are one in a million. If I shared ANYTHING with you, that simply means you have my trust in your hands, especially on the topic of relationships. To me, it all feels like a personal thing, and you have no need to do an announcement as if you were to marry that someone.

At the end of the day, I was asking myself why the reluctance to the share the joy; and I figured myself out: protection. Protection for myself and the other party. Spare us the awkwardness. So I have no idea why there are people out there, when they are just out on a single date or even a single phone call, they will start telling the whole world. Oh please, just spare the whole word. Peace out.

2011-06-08T23:00:00.007+08:00

You know,

each and every song I have inside my library holds a different meaning and significance. Every individual song shares a distinctive story during different time of my life, much like a song timeline.

For every single dot plotted on the timeline, there will be songs recorded at those points. When I listen to those songs, it gives me flashback of peculiar periods in my life. Similar to how people use photos to remind them of their past, I use songs.

There are songs that are filled with negative associations, when I listen to them, I will be overwhelmed; consumed by those emotional beasts. The other side of coin is a much more beautiful world, it reminds me how much grandness life had in itself. Those fun, those precious elated memories, those joy. Priceless.

Today, I am on the dark side. Something was pulling me. Pulling me to play a song that reminds me of that distinguishing period of my life. The past that once held me back, the past that once haunted me, the past that inflicted nothing but pain. Back then, I felt like it was a song written, composed, built for me. Nothing, nothing else could ever put my feelings across that precisely, accurately.

It's that song..

2011-03-20T09:47:00.006+08:00

Life's really good, even in the midst of a busy work life. Yesterday I met a pri sch friend of mine on the streets, whom I totally had never met for like 8 years. He called out to me, and wow god damn surprise, the nerd back then with heavy round specs is now a freaking buffed up charismatic guy.

On another note, I also met my dream girl on the night streets of dhouby a few days back, and wow, she changed so much.. towards my disliking. Used to be a sweet little girl next door type whom I used to adore so much, but now... AHHHH. what's the word? oh yah its called: self deprecating. NOW GIVE ME BACK THAT SWEET LITTLE THINGY.

Well, talk about changes, how awesome/un-awesome are they.

So, how much have you changed over the past decade?

2011-03-17T02:07:00.002+08:00

2011-01-22T15:17:00.001+08:00

2011-01-16T17:44:00.011+08:00

A brand new start

to a brand new obsession:

You

2011-01-16T17:01:00.005+08:00

Internship is ending soon and my future is still in doubt. Monetary or interest route? Last few Feb (fab) weeks in TP and poly life is coming to a closure. Ahh sheez, how I wish for another 3 muthafucking awesome years. Grad trip sooooonafter!

2011-01-03T03:53:00.008+08:00

The time now is 3.53am.

It's morning shift tmr and I'm still wide awake

The past irregular months

Screwed my body clock beyond any recognition

Was blog hopping around and

Some of the posts really put my train of thoughts running.

The past and the present;

History and current,

How would you define it the happiest time of your life,

When 'happiest' is a possibility that may be build into the future.

Happiness is no doubt in our own hands,

But too much of happiness translate into stillness over a long period.

If you are doubting this, think harder

We human, tend to take EVERYTHING,

Everything for granted.

Including happiness.

It's the law of diminishing marginal utility.

The law that is instilled in our nature.

The question begs:

Can you and me fight this nature?

WUT?! 2011 is coming?!

2010-12-27T22:18:00.016+08:00

December is coming to an end, so is 2010. What a freaking awesome month.

Went back to CMPB for my follow-up tests, thank god everything is fine. But holy shit, the doctor pulled out a cotton bud that was stuck in my left ear canal for the past eon years. What the fuck, a freaking cotton bud living in my bloody ear?! The doc said it might be there since I was young when my parents (or me) tried to clean my ear and decided to leave a souvenir inside.

Surprisingly, I'm actually not completely deaf for the past years. The situation is abit like unchoking a toilet bowl (reminds me of Lana's house, fucking sick toilet bowl full of puke). Once the doctor pull out the damn bud, there was a "pop" sound and everything became so clear and loud. So fucking clear and loud to the extent that I freaking find every single noise irritating now. I can hear the minutest of sound and no, I don't like it. I hit the roads and I find the sound of moving cars disturbingly thundering. I can't stand the sound of my keys clinging. I find everyone's voice overwhelmingly piercing. In short, I can't stand everything!

And on a bright side, I am hearing the world like never before,

YEAH RIGHT.

HAI, this ish mai new bruther :)

December - The Month of Jubilations

2010-12-04T01:13:00.010+08:00

It is amazing how people can change lives that easily.

Should there be a day where I become successful,

I will extend my capabilities to those in need;

For a life changing moment they'll never forget.

It's been awhile

Now I am all set and ready for a road

A road that can prove to be miraculously staggering

(or catastrophic)

2010-11-28T23:48:00.005+08:00

There I was, watching some videos on youtube about army life. Then it suddenly hit on me, am I ready for the NS life yet? The answer is definitely yes, mentally. but nowhere near, physically. Well, I guess being in uniform group in the past really helped to put my mind straight.

Which brings me back to life in SJAB back in Marist times. We had this really torturous annual training camp held during the March holidays, and oh man, the thought of it is just plain HORRIBLE. So, during this "March Camp" (that's what we call it), we will get tekan every single minute until we are all dried vampires. (pretty much like salted fish eh) There are these horrendous bag checks, where they freaking ordered us to pour everything out and put everything back in like 30 seconds; and repeat that for a zillion times. (so much for neat packing, Mum) Yes coincidentally, I saw a US-Marine video where this 'awesome' bag check process was taped down, and oh my, sure does bring back memories.

So, many years ago, I started to prepare myself mentally for NS, thinking that everyday of it will just be like this monstrous March Camp. Thus, more or less, I am prepared for hell already. The only thing that is keeping me back is the poor weakened condition of my body now. Weak stamina and rocky arms, just how good is life? Well, i'm making it better by hitting the tracks and gym already. Just hope it won't be another one of those past moments, where my frequent toning of body isn't that frequent afterall (gave up after three months at most, fml)

Oh yes, my healthy lifestyle plan is going pretty well. Plenty of water going through my system everyday and yes, I just had two pears for dinner after a lovely nightime jog. Proud of you man, Travis. So damn proud of you.

2010-11-23T22:32:00.009+08:00

Today, the 23rd of November, is a life changing point for me. I've finally decided to bury my unhealthy lifestyle and diet deep under the sands. The call came from the medical checkup today, the test result shook me up; and it's a chance given to put things back on track.

No more carbonated drinks

Cut down on flavoured drinks (ouch)

Gallons of plain water everyday

Reduce intake of fried food (howthefuckisitpossible)

Tons of vegetables and fruits (howthecheebyefuckisitpossible)

Well, the resolution kick started off with a plate of sweet sweet kiwis followed by an awesome jog with the night breeze brushing through my face. My head was spinning at the end though, guess it's an ass to master the proper breathing technique. This will bring the best outta me at the prime time of my life. Stay healthy, stay healthy and yes, stay healthy.

On the way back,

I saw a warm couple cuddling in bliss on the stone cold bench;

whilst watching their children frolic under the bright moon light.

This,

my dear friend,

is life.

2010-11-16T01:07:00.005+08:00

You know, my future is in a mess now.

Everyone is telling me how important a degree is, and I just realised the importance of one. Better late than never eh? I recently went around asking the salaries of fresh uni grads, and to my hell yeah surprise, it's so much fucking higher than one of a diploma grad. Oh somebody, just throw me into some local university please.

Oh, and my determined path of going to the hotel/resort line since secondary 3 just totally got rubbed off by the reality. What reality? some of you might ask. well the fucking reality of the long fucking hours and low fucking pay. ouch. slap me hard on my face. REAL HARD.

So now, im having a few career options that I wanna pursue in future, but they differ so bloody badly that it would change my whole life in 10 million rounds if I chose the correct one. or the wrong one, in the other way. it's either the sea/land/air job. somebody tell me how do i fucking pick which route man. so yeah shit yeah, a bloody degree and a bloody fulfilling cum well-paid job are the first two items on my worry list.

I NEED CAREER ADVISORY BADLY.

2010-11-06T20:24:00.003+08:00

"You know you're such an ass!

But did I tell you I have a liking for asses :P"

Hahahaha. Cant stop smiling!

My day is made! :]

2010-11-03T23:47:00.003+08:00

Oh it's November already!

I.dont.want.internship.to.end.please.

2 more groups flew off for overseas internship within a span of two days.

Was thinking how awesome it must be to face the deep blue sea and clear blue sky everyday.

PURE AWESOMENESS PLEASE.

Oh well, at least I still get to see planes flying here and there.

Shifts are so enjoyable that it doesn't even feel like working.

Ahhh, love the airport!

2010-10-18T11:07:00.010+08:00

MC on a rainy day, maybe I should just get more rest yeah

I was thinkin bout her, thinkin bout me

Thinkin bout us, what we gonna be

Open my eyes, it was only just a dream

So I travel back, down that road

I realise, yeah, it was only just a dream

2010-10-05T22:19:00.003+08:00

Grass is always greener on the other side.

How I wish.

HOW I wish.

HOW I WISH.

"You can never decipher what a Scorpio is thinking."

2010-10-04T10:30:00.006+08:00

Charming, intelligent and attractive.

Everything I'm looking for.

2010-10-02T08:57:00.010+08:00

Starting shift work on this coming Tuesday already!

It really sucks when we just finish bonding with the NP people and they had to separate us. Damn, now have to start bonding with the RP people in my team. Re-socialising all over again. Definitely will miss the 2 weeks spent together training, chilling and letting loose. Sigh, no TP, no NP, together we are United Poly. Hope that everyone is gonna have fun with their new teams.

Off to classroom session! Sayo!

2010-09-23T22:37:00.006+08:00

Airport is an awesome place! Love the atmosphere there, love the people there, love everything there. Recap of Week 1 in SIP: Training, followed by training, and of course, more training! And the intervals are filled with talk cock sessions, makan sessions, break sessions and walkabout sessions, and i mean ALOT of the sessions. Working life has never been so awesome. And it's like a refreshment course of everything that is taught in the past 3 years, airline codes, airport codes, business etiquette, service skills and plenty more. What more can I ask for? Well, there's still another week of "training" to go, which technically means there are a total of 2 training weeks, beat that. Really really really glad that airport is such an awesome place.

2010-09-12T08:39:00.005+08:00

At the break of the dawn, everything will be just a facade.

One that we all once hid within.

This,

My dear friend,

Is one goddamn hell forsaken life.

2010-08-13T21:51:00.012+08:00

Somehow the hype bout internship isn't really getting into me at all. So much about "truly stepping into the workforce". Yeah right, internship is gonna be another work phase of my life man. About warning those ultra-lucky-people-whom-are-born-with-a-silver-spoon-that-never-had-to-work about the hardship they will experience, indeed, those people do need the warning.

The past two days working at Huawei Service Centre @ The Cathay made me a slightly more polished man. Getting yelled at by customers is totally what I previously had expected, and yes,

IT DID HAPPEN.

*INSERTS YOG SONG HERE*

OH YEAH OH YEAH OH YEAH HEY!

Wonderful, it's all part of customer service I guess. Yes, all the nasty customers from my previous jobs came running back in my mind again. Now I can start writing a book named "XY's Nasty Customer Encounters" Gonna be a hit for sure. Nonetheless, the job is awesome with an untaxing job scope and an above average pay. YES, I DO HAVE TO ADD THAT THERE ARE REALLY NICE (AND BEAUTIFUL) CUSTOMERS AS WELL.

2010-07-28T23:41:00.005+08:00

It's only appearing to me now how my world is becoming so tipsy-topsy. It's almost like I'm gonna fall into a never ending limbo.

I gave serious thoughts, about how I could do things right, but I'm elated that I dint. The things that I thought about being "right" just ended up on the opposite. Fortuitously, everything is just in the "right" place now. So much for all the right stuffs, right?

2010-07-24T22:25:00.005+08:00

At the end of the day, friends are always here for you to cry your lungs out. Time heals everything, it will be over real soon. Don't worry, we got your back.

Somehow, the positivity isn't rubbing onto people as much as I wish it would be. At this sort of time, I feel really useless that I can't do much but offer my ears and some words of comfort.

2010-07-05T19:43:00.008+08:00

Feels like the workload is decreasing already (Y)

Catch me at Changi Airport T1 from Sept - Jan!

Irregular hours of internship there.

Suits me? Totallybe!

Totallybe is the awesome new word that I created:

Totally-Maybe -> Totallybe

Ahhh, what a genius I am.

Sometimes, I ponder deep into the night

What would have happen if I chose to go for it.

Magic question:

What do you do when life gives you lemon?

Magic answer:

You make a nice awesome glass of lemonade

A not-so-positive quote to counter:

Unless life gives you water, sugar and ice... your lemonade is going to SUCK!

HOW TRUE HOW TRUE.

2010-06-26T01:45:00.002+08:00

Awesome Awesome Awesome Awesome Awesome

2010-06-22T00:40:00.001+08:00

A change in my perception of you

2010-06-19T01:27:00.004+08:00

"How I met your mother" is definitely the series everyone must watch. This american comedy is just plain awesome. Barney, for sure, must be the favourite character of everyone. That guy is just plain witty and funny. And I swear his reaction is one of the fastest I ever see. Powerpackedly-legendary. GO WATCH THE SHOW IF YOU HAVENT.

Oh, and projects are such nuisances.

HAVE TO COMPLETE THEM.

HAVE TO.

2010-06-17T00:26:00.003+08:00

They always say life is unfair

However so,

Life gives each and everyone of us 24 hours everyday

To make things fair and right.

So, how is life unfair?

2010-06-09T22:59:00.001+08:00

How good can life get?

Lost my wallet yesterday;

Lost my phone today.

Love my life!

Life is beautiful,

The sky is still blue!

2010-06-07T22:34:00.001+08:00

It's an irony how it's easy and difficult at the same time

Stand by me

2010-06-05T23:00:00.006+08:00

The bad dream I had several days back, was one that totally made my heart sank. It was a mixure of lostness, helplessness and immerse despair. I could clearly remember every single scene. My parents were gone in an accident. There I was, kneeling down at the cold, hard hospital floor, mourning over the sudden news. I finally picked myself up, trying to get home at 6am plus in the morning. I remember taking the first train home, the cabin was real empty and I sat on the seat beside the reserved one. I was wondering how am I going to move on in life, all the minute details just popped into my mind. It made me realised how important my parents are in my life, how am I going to live without them. At that moment, tears came flowing down again, I was devastated. And out of nowhere, my mum's soul appeared on the empty reserved seat beside me. She was telling me I had to be strong, I am no longer a kid but now a grown up man. I could take care of myself. I started crying even more when that happened. I told her not to leave, not to leave when she havent see me accomplish things that I want in life, not to leave when I havent get a car to drive her around, not to leave when I havent even get married and have a grandchild for her.

I woke up, it was a dream, you wont know how relieved I was to know that it was a dream. I looked at the clock, it was 8 in the morning. I sat up on my bed. It's a sign, a sign to tell me to really cherish what's infront of me, instead of complaining bout things that doesnt come infront of me. You, my friend, should too.

It's bout what you have IN you, not what you have ON you.

Maturity taught me that.

The one on young mums

2010-05-31T11:17:00.007+08:00

Somehow, I chanced upon a few blogs randomly about young mummys. First of all, I have to admit they are very very brave. Without any real solid financial backings, they chose to bring their beloved fruits of love in this world. Some of them are way younger than me, some of them are single mums, now that's really admirable. Not only do they have to worry about making ends meet, but they have to endure criticism about being deviants in the society. But there are some real good case, where one of the young husband is actually from a rich family, so the 17 year old mum had a maid hired just for her. Aiseh, tai-tai lifestyle at such a tender young age. Life is full of interesting things, isn't it?

One bad dream yesterday made me teared for a good 20mins, and fyi, its been god knows how long since those warm droplets had rolled down my cheeks. Such unfamiliarity.

2010-05-23T01:00:00.002+08:00

Trust me, if you want to gossip behind other people's back,

Don't be like a fucking coward if you get confronted.

And yes, walls have ears.

I'm a changed man

2010-05-18T21:30:00.002+08:00

"No one dies as a virgin.

Just cos life fucks us all."

TRUE. TRUE.

2010-05-10T20:10:00.002+08:00

"The truth is, everyone's going to hurt you.

You just have to decide who's worth the pain."

2010-05-06T23:27:00.003+08:00

Tmr's CCN day. It reminds me of my year 1 times, where we were conned to set up stall by the tutor. Still remember tending the ice-cream/float, and the poorly decorated stall. AHHH, xiang dang nian! Well, tmr shall take a look at those freshies' stalls, wonder will there be any suprises not?

Give me some hints

2010-05-03T01:06:00.001+08:00

Stop stalking me!

LOL

2010-05-02T23:02:00.003+08:00

Needs motivation in life badly.

Please, there's a solution to everything in life.

Don't resort to ending it,

There's so much more to do.

I am just a phone call away, people.

Counselor of life.

2010-04-30T00:33:00.001+08:00

I got it.

2010-04-23T14:43:00.002+08:00

At times,

I just wished I was there.

My greatest weakness.

2010-04-18T00:03:00.004+08:00

Somehow, im not really looking forward to school with only 36 hours remaining to the first lecture of the new semester. God knows why, the thought of school starts to deter me out of sudden. Heck it, this last week of holiday was indeed well spent, no regrets or whatsoever. iceskating, prawning, laning, mahjonging, movies, tons of great food, plenty of pleasant company, and I drank the best milk tea in my life, absolutely imba. Don't tell me you drank good milk tea unless you tried Gong Cha.

Still, the holidays are over. Sigh. It's back to lectures, tutorials and projects yet again. Hopefully my new group mates will be nice people. Back to the bright side, it's the last semester to study and play hard already, gotta make sure it'll be a fun and meaningful one.

I WILL MAKE IT A FUN AND MEANINGFUL ONE, YES I WILL!

2010-04-14T02:12:00.015+08:00

Bonds are amazing stuff.

Learn to cherish them,

Whether they are elongated or abbreviated.

Just watched some videos that felt really close to my heart.

Feeling pretty emotional right now,

In a good way.

Well, Sem 3.1 is approaching in numerous days.

Not overly excited nor overly gloomy.

Neutral is the word.

Some choices that have to be made will be decided soon enough.

Till then, byebye.

I'm willing to be diabetic

Just for you

2010-04-04T02:16:00.006+08:00

I'm officially missing you, girl.

All I hear is raindrops falling on the rooftop

Oh baby, tell me why'd you have to go

Cause this pain I feel it won't go away

And today I'm officially missin' you

I thought that from this heartache, I could escape
But I've fronted long enough to know
There ain't no way
And today I'm officially missing you

2010-03-28T13:29:00.014+08:00

Yesterday night some fiery incident took place after work. For a moment, I thought it will be heading out of control, somehow it didn't. All's well ends well. Haven't had real drinking sessions for quite some time already.

Some pictures from Barossa:

My sister will be getting married in June and that's in 2months plus time. Time flies eh, their relationship has be on-going for 10 odd years already. Now, who says couples can't last long? But I swear their new house is damn awesome, 38th storey and the view is magnificent. Located pretty near town too. Pinnacle @ Duxton ftw man.

Come closer.

2010-03-26T00:37:00.004+08:00

Realised I got tons of things on my wishlist to get but I got limited money currently. Sigh. Don't know when my ITSHOW and Barossa pay will be banked in.

P.S: Excited for Universal Studio trip!

2010-03-25T00:49:00.007+08:00

Attended another wake today.

An old woman who had totally no blood connection with me, I still remember clearly how she calls out my nickname during Chinese New Year. This is the woman whom I address as Por Por, the one who especially dotes on my two cousins and me, only giving ang baos to the three of us. Now she's gone, she knew this day was coming though. Was listening to my godma telling me how she prepared the clothes she wanted to put on for this last journey beforehand. It makes me wonder how much courage she must have had, in order to face the shinigami coming her way.

She looked really in peace though.

Farewell, Florence Por Por.

May you shine like a star above.

This part and parcel of life is knocking some serious sense into my head.

2010-03-22T02:08:00.005+08:00

Have you ever felt that something is missing in your life, but you just don't know whats the "thing"? I'm having this feeling like right now. Need to chill out, like seriously.

It's neutralising.

Good or bad?

You tell me.

The one on money

2010-03-19T00:17:00.006+08:00

Today, I encountered an interesting thread online, stating how a Singaporean woman in her 20s is asking 10million people to donate 10cents to her, so that she can become a millionaire. Reason? Cause she doesn't want to work. WOW. If she ever succeeds (which I strongly doubt so), everyone can start creating a facebook group to ask people to donate money. Then, the economy will crash with everyone moving out of the workforce. Ideal life man. How I wish the figure in my bank account can suddenly grow like the beanstalk in Jack's life. Well, in your dreams xianyi, go to bed early and it might just happen. For now, it will just be working and working and working.

Minimal hope.

Oblivion.

2010-03-15T22:44:00.003+08:00

I think Katong/Marine Parade/East Coast is an awesome area man.

Awesome activities & awesome food.

What a day.

I give up.

Period.

2010-03-13T09:39:00.002+08:00

I love how fast time pass when working at IT show.

Sales not bad at all. Should be get a higher pay than usual.

Results wise, everything were kinda expected.

Chui. GPA stands at 2.9 now.

I can't tell how you feel.

2010-03-09T15:21:00.005+08:00

Work is fen-tazz-tix with all the fun colleagues.

And I seriously aspire to be a bartender, although the stock-taking and restocking is irritating.

STUMPED' Sentosa Edition tomorrow. Gotta run like mad! Followed by 4 days of hard-selling at ITSHOW 10'. What a filling week.

Pulled out in time.

2010-03-06T22:15:00.002+08:00

Yes. Im officially employed! Do text/call me if you are around esplande. DXO chiongsters especially.

Rah, I am just one of the many.

2010-03-03T22:15:00.002+08:00

You know, I dont really like the feeling.

The one on theory of life

2010-03-01T05:34:00.013+08:00

In life, all the popular beverages are either hot or cold. Hot: milo, latte, expresso and various teas. For cold we have fruit juice, beer, bubble tea and various soft drinks. If you noticed, no drinks served at room temperature are popular. So I concluded that in life, in order to be successful, one has to choose to be at extreme ends. Take the taiwan showbiz for example, very beautiful (lin-chi ling) or very ugly (xu chun mei) , very talented (jay chou) or very not talented (william hung). Interesting theory to ponder about again yeah.

Past few days were quality time well spent with friends. But I'll need a bloody job in order to fund my Bangkok trip. I realised every holiday I will be asking around for lobangs. So, please call/text/msn/fb me should you have any lobangs please!

Oh by the way, these are my virgin DSLR shots, im so damn proud of myself can (credits to George for his DSLR):

Is it mutual?

Please dont keep me hanging.

2010-02-23T20:30:00.004+08:00

CRS mugging session later.

Hopefully concentration can last as long as accounting.

Terminal 3 is da boomz.

Should I buy that pair of Vans?

2010-02-22T22:16:00.004+08:00

Accounting paper done sealed delivered. Not too bad and not too good I guess.

This morning I was taking bus no.8 to the school and as usual, the bus is bloody packed like sardines in the ocean. Then there was this girl talking at a pretty loud volume, to the extent where I can actually hear her. So she was complaining to her friend on the other side of the line "See! I told you how year of the tiger is soooo bad for me! early in the morning, bus late and the bus packed like siao."

Honestly, buses are not late, you can be early instead. Likewise if you hate the crowd, simply catch one or two buses earlier. If you realised, you are adding volume to bus as well. Thats solely my opinion though. Dont wait for things to happen, MAKE things happen, for god's sake. If Year of the Tiger is really that bad, go get some 5 elements keychain and protect yourself please.

2010-02-20T22:52:00.012+08:00

-Notes about you and me-

We will soar on the wings of the wind. We will float in the caress of the clouds. We will fly. If we are meant to be, we will dance with the angels in the air and fall slowly after the last song, back to the ground.

Together.

2010-02-20T12:50:00.002+08:00

At the end of the day

Whats important is that:

我还在这里

我永远在这里

Accounting exam in 49.5 hours time.

How nice is life to me.

WAN-DE-FOO

2010-02-16T12:53:00.002+08:00

It's sort of like a nightmare.

Everytime I close my eyes, the scene keeps haunting me.

It's an ever familiar feeling, bad night bad bad night.

The one on Chinese New Year

2010-02-16T02:13:00.008+08:00

Chinese new year this year is kinda different. No angbaos, no exchanges of oranges. Instead, Day 2 of cny started off at the place where my grandfather is resting peace. Time really flies, it's been 49days since then. Today the huge family consisting of 20 plus people arrived in different family cars, paying their respects to the old couple's photograph that's mounted onto the wall. Offerings were made, chinese paper coins and gold were engulfed in flames under the scorching sun. It's not difficult to see how my relatives had moved on, the expressions and atmosphere is totally different from that time. This is a good sign.

However, what hasnt changed is the gambling nature of my family, blackjack and mahjong are two activities that create the lively and cosy feeling back in the apartment. It's good too. Interesting conversation regarding religion between my uncle and aunties. The buddist and the catholics/christians. Well, something for me to dwell upon again.

Holding expectations just makes one disappointed in the end.

How i wish,

In my dreams.

Laughing bitterly.

2010-02-09T23:53:00.002+08:00

This is what I call life.

2010-02-07T22:25:00.002+08:00

3 fantastic days in a row.

This is life man.

Losing voice already, two k-sessions in 3 days.

Make it fantastic 4 at the beach tmr please.

2010-02-05T23:22:00.003+08:00

Had lots of fun at Teo Heng just now!

5 hours just vroomed past like F1 cars.

Moar outings like this pl0x.

2010-02-04T19:13:00.006+08:00

Grant me a chance,

To weave you a dream of eternal blissfulness.

2010-02-03T00:04:00.002+08:00

I AM FALLING IN

HOW NOW,

BROWN COW.

SOMEBODY CALL 911.

2010-02-01T08:52:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, it just takes a sentence to change everything.

OFF TO CSIT PRESENTATION.

BYE.

2010-01-29T02:00:00.001+08:00

Last Lap!

2010-01-27T23:39:00.006+08:00

I'm amazed by how much maturity i'd gained academically since Year 1 in this course. Was glancing through the countless projects I did in the past two years, can't even do APA referencing and proper appendix listing in the past. And looking back at the website created for Basic Computing Skills back in 1.2, I find it hilarious. Hahaha. Abit kiddish yeah. Memories of the times chionging for these projects are just flooding me one by one. POM, OB, F&B. BCS econs, socio, pub speaking, RHT, IHT, commskills and many many more.

It has been two years already, in the blink of an eye. My poly life will end in another blink. Just endured a semester full of projects. There will be another, and SIP follows after that. National Service and then workforce. That's how fast things are progressing. Sometimes, I need life to slow down a little, to enjoy all the small little things that happen around.

2010-01-21T23:55:00.003+08:00

I like how everything is falling into place now. Perfect! (Y)

Missing the feeling of chionging last minute work yeah.

2010-01-20T15:05:00.005+08:00

"Sadness is a name you used to give to your feelings after you lost a few pieces of your heart. I'm helping you look for those pieces for I hope it's a name you never have to give ever again."

-Notes about you and me

2010-01-19T00:30:00.007+08:00

People are complaining how their "life" is getting deprived cos of the heavy shit loads of projects and presentations that's smashing right into their face. Well, isn't this part of the poly life that one will definitely reminisce in future? Maybe not you, but I will. This hectic month of putting projects as your first priority, is pretty well spent, in some sense. No doubt I'm missing out some fun: just hanging out, catching tons of movies at the cinema, pure chitchatting, drinking, clubbing, dotaing and sleeping when the sun is just rising. But to hell with all that for now, projects, presentations and exams are my best friends now. When I cast these fuckers aside, I will get double the fun that I missed out. \M/ ROCKER!

But how the fuck am I going to enjoy when I'm working "full-time" for moneh right after exams. ARGH. *Inserts DKDC motto* : DONTKNOW, DONTCARE. Till then, its fucking engaging, engrossing, enclosing, encompassing, encasing, encircling, encapsulating myself with school work. <3

2010-01-17T22:39:00.002+08:00

"When I was 5,

my parents always told me that happiness was the key to life.

When I went to school,

they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up.

I wrote down "happy."

They told me I didnt understand the assignment

and I told them,

they didnt understand life."

Looking forward

2010-01-15T02:17:00.005+08:00

"Monkey Ow"

Today, technically yesterday, conversation over dinner was about something that's quite controversial. About how the first organism, bacteria or whatever shit you call that was formed. How the moon, the earth, the other planets, the sun and the galaxy was formed. HOW? There was an argument saying that God created all these, and all the stuffs mentioned above were there long long time ago, just waiting for us to discover. But, my unsatisfied curiosity went on questioning, who created God? Well, I guess I'll never get to know, BUT I REALLY WANNA KNOW.

And then it lead to on to something about the apocalypse, about 2012 and how is the human race going to die eventually. I am and never will be a believer of 2012 world ending shit. Its all a hoax in my opinion. Then again, life is full of surprises, who knows it might just happens. If that's the case, then we will all just die, simple. "What's coming will come eventually" Hell yeah, till then, it's just living life to the fullest everyday.

Farewell

2009-12-30T22:10:00.012+08:00

The man whose back view is so ever familiar which I woke seeing every morning in the past.

The man who insisted on using socklings to make his personally brewed premium coffee.

The man who I used to communicate with, with my half-bucketful of Hainanese words.

The man who would wave back enthusiastically at me when I do that at him.

The man with the purest and innocent smile.

Today, I saw this man once again. The two main differences were that, he was lying in a wooden box instead of the bed I always see him lying on. And that, he was no longer responding when I called out to him.

He looked so different as compared to the him who would always smile at me when I visited him. Just slightly more than a month ago, we were celebrating his birthday. I remembered the tired look on his face when I pushed the thin, old man back to the nursing home at the end of the joyous dinner. I remembered saying a last goodbye to him on that very day, I never had the chance to do it, ever again.

When those cold hard nails were knocked in to seal to wooden block today, I was overwhelmed with emotions, very negative ones. Flashbacks of memories with this man was playing non-stop in my mind like a spoilt DVD. Sniffing were heard all around me. A familiar warm fluid wet my pair of eyes, god knows how, I managed to stop them from rolling down my face, which was already a representation of what's on my mind: immerse sadness.

This man is a father of seven,

A great grandfather of four,

A grandfather of mine.

Nevertheless, I know he's living a better world that's free of sufferings. Ah Gong, 安心上路

This further strengthen the belief in my personal motto: why choose to be sad when you can be happy. Life is fragile and short, we should always be enjoying every single minute of it because you never know when it might end. At the end of day, life is still beautiful, and the sky is still blue, but with the only difference of my grandfather's blessings from the clear blue sky.

2009-12-26T19:29:00.004+08:00

Past few days of Christmas were AWESOME

Sometimes I just need the fucking guts to do what I need to do

Someone fucking give me some HUGE guts please

2009-12-13T17:18:00.004+08:00

I always liked seeing people getting attached, especially when both sides are my acquaintances. The feeling is just ... indescribably elating.

It's the Christmas seasons now. To be frank, Christmas isn't my favourite seasons in the past, probably because I don't really get all hyped up for Santa. However, as age builds up on this mind and body of mine, I kinda grow to like Christmas.

The beautiful Christmas lightings and decorations you can see everywhere,

the melodious Christmas carols you can hear everywhere, the unexpected Christmas presents that you are expecting (ironic, yeah), the unique Christmas feel that you can just experience everywhere. It somehow gives me a sense of warmth and familiarity, and I really like the feeling.

Many things had gone through my mind over the past week. Connecting with myself, asking myself, "What kind of person do I aim to become?"

Someone called me desperate. And subconsciously, I might actually be desperate (Despite however desperate I may act, I'm not. If only you understand me well enough) . Desperate for a good morning text from my love, desperate to share all my happiness and sadness with my love, desperate to just hold her hands and give her the warmest hug of all times. Well, let's just let natural take its course, till then.

2009-11-25T20:40:00.001+08:00

When everything else falls,

I will be the one standing.

LIFE IS STAGNANT, MORE EXCITEMENTS PLEASE?

The one on sleeping

2009-11-04T01:23:00.002+08:00

I think sleeping is the absolutely coolest thing that happens in one's lifetime. Just a few days back, I was doing some thinking before sleep, and it amazed me how we humans fall asleep that easily. Its like just closing your eyes for a few moments and you enter into total darkness. Next thing you know, its the next day when you open your eyes again. It seem like a split second but in actual fact, thats many hours gone. It's kinda scary actually. I do enjoy sleeping but I think a quote from my godma does really make sense,

"Sleep so much everyday for what, you can sleep all you want when you die"

True uh, sometimes life is too important to be just sleeping away.

2009-11-04T00:47:00.002+08:00

Adapting pretty well to life at Sentosa, I guess.

It feels stagnant.

2009-10-26T20:02:00.004+08:00

Watch your thought; they become words

Watch your words; they become actions

Watch your actions, they become habits

Watch your habits, they become your character

Watch your character; they become your destiny.

2009-10-22T02:14:00.003+08:00

Breathing in frozen fever.

Standing in burning winter.

All the misery.

I need you by my side.

The one on $10/hr job

2009-10-17T16:55:00.011+08:00

It's my first time exploring Jurong East in my entire 18 years in Singapore. Well, who the fiak in the right mind will go to Jurong East if you stay in the east side. Anyway, this is one of the easiest money i've ever earned in my whole life.

1) Fiaking easy job scope

2) Time flies fiaking fast (Like REALLY REALLY fast)

3) Its fiaking 10bucks per hour!!!

Its just counting and scanning books in Jurong Regional Library overnight and i earned like 100bucks? Awesome c00L shitz. Oh and I scanned a total of 4163 books.

Work ended at around 8am in da morning and had a longggg chat with junyuan and xiaoming at some kopitiam. Was laughing my ass off the whole time cos their nurse and policeman experiences are so fiaking entertaining till my ballz dropped. Cabbed and reached home at 11. Whooping total cab fare of 26bucks, from Jurong East to Ubi to Simei. Like wad da fiak only.

I r random, just like these blue coloured words.

2009-10-16T01:17:00.005+08:00

Okay, few more days before school reopens.

Well, im neutral about school, but Sentosa everyday is chorness.

45mins of bus ride? or 30mins of subway?

Rar, can't make up my mind.

I just hope my new classmates are nice people.

REALLY REALLY NICE PEOPLE.

No, I am not going to be emoin' in a corner this time round,

neither will I be uber sociable.

2009-10-05T16:02:00.006+08:00

I finally created fb! Add me!

Sentosa with some of the SJ peeps was AWESOME. right DUDE, AWESOME.

Finding spots from Siloso to Palawan and finally settled down at Tanjong Beach.

Frisbee, soccer, beach captains ball and epic failed volleyball.

Going into the fiaking dirty waters with fiaking seaweeds, planks of wood, maggie mee packets and "used condom". Imagine how shiok it is.

Ah, Singapore waters are soooooo clean and blue, just like the tourism poster. YA RIGHT STB.

Ended the day off with dinner at Sushi Tei.

Captains ball without the chairs:

Mr "No-more-fat" Zhan Hui:

The blue and clear waters,

RIGHT:

Rest of photos uploaded at fb

Photo Credits to Mr Glenn Quah.

OH AND I DID GET TANNED, LIKE FINALLY.

2009-09-24T23:53:00.001+08:00

2009-09-23T23:31:00.004+08:00

I don't know how to express myself in words.

Ermmmm, its like... what came in contact today:

Its like Bar Chor Mee (the minced meat and the noodle)

Its like watching movie (the movie and the popcorn)

Its like McSpicy (the bread and the chicken fillet)

Its like Coke (the ice and the cola)

Its like us (the you and the me)

2009-09-22T00:48:00.002+08:00

Went to chill out at Auto Sport at somewhere near clarke quay on Sunday. Beer is definitely not my cup of tea before but somehow my opinion changed. Two towers of beers, drinking card games, live soccer match, random snacks like happy meal and pure chilling out.

Cabbed home around 4plus. I like :)

Blurry KS and Charis:

Win acting shy:

Kelvin and Dixon with the beer:

Lawrence with the twist:

Random shot:

You brought out all the good in me.

Wished that I could tell you.

2009-09-20T02:43:00.002+08:00

My mind is in a total whirl now

I need to know

Cos

....

HAPPY 18TH PHILANA LOH

2009-09-16T23:56:00.007+08:00

Happy Birthday stupid chiwawa!

Went to ION in the late morning to get Royce chocolate with sy

Then proceeded on to HK cafe for the birthday song and brunch:

Birthday Girl:

Wish for more money la, still got what:

Lana's Ice-cream French Toast:

Shuyi and her Peanut Butter French Toast:

This is what I call breakfast man:

Went on to catch "Gamer" and "The Final Destination" with TY and Noel.

Brutality + Fatality for both movies

Flesh and blood flying everywhere.

M18 FTW!

Am I ready?

2009-09-16T00:24:00.005+08:00

I am afraid to venture into this.

It's like somehow I can see those problems arising again,

before they even find their way to me.

Control your emotions xianyi.

2009-09-15T05:16:00.005+08:00

It's 5.16 in the morning and I woke up feeling all emotional

Tried to get back to sleep but somehow I came over to the comp and started typing away

It was dream that shook me up,

a dream about friendship,

a dream about the bonds I shared with the people in it,

a dream about parting,

a dream which was trying to hint me something,

a dream that shall never be deciphered.

This looks promising :)

2009-09-11T23:55:00.006+08:00

COMEX'09 is tiring

At least I am selling a product that I know (almost) fully of

You know it's damn irritating when you can't answer customers' questions

But that aint happening this show, cos I R PREPARED

Without commission comes no motivation

KTHXBYE

(Pardon the sudden jump of tone,

even though the previous post was typed less than 10mins ago,

I feel fiaking tired nao,

thus giving the imbaly short post)

The one on BGR

2009-09-11T23:20:00.009+08:00

Just had to post my thoughts, too many BGR stuffs revolving around people during the past week. Wanted to do so earlier, just didn't find the time and motivation.

Having mutual feelings doesn't constitute a perfect or should I say a long-lasting relationship. Hell yeah, I do agree that feelings may be the underlying reason why a guy and a girl get together, however it's just the thing that brings them together but it's definitely not the sole thing to maintaining a relationship.

Through a relationship, you will get to see and experience points you'll like about your other half. On the other hand, points that you consider bad or unacceptable might surface as the relationship progresses. But mind you, what you consider bad or unacceptable might be on the contrary to your other half. He/she might thinks its perfectly alright or normal to think/act that way.

This is what I would like to call mindset or thinking differences.

At this point of time, feelings comes back into the equation once again.
Are your feelings deep enough for you to accept the so called "bad" or "unacceptable" points of your soul mate?
Are your feelings deep enough for you to change the so called "bad" or "unacceptable" points for your soul mate?

Yes, I am sure majority tried, but not many succeeded in the permanent acceptances and changes. You might think it's possible at the start of these processes, but many find that they will still revert back to square one as time passes. It is not exactly that surprising as these behaviours and thinkings have been stuck with you for some 10 odds 20 plus years. Be it changing your perception towards some acts or changing your behaviour isn't easy.

At the end of the day, I would like to stress to you people some things that I know I stressed before. Take some time before you hit the sacks to think about the feelings versus the practical problems that you are facing right now. Come to a conclusion of your own, don't listen to the opinions of others, listen to your heart and mind.

2009-09-05T02:17:00.008+08:00

This freaking American guy named Anthony just captivates people with his singing. I was watching 超級星光大道 to see how the Singaporean contestants fared in the singing competition. (Btw, Olivia Ong went to take part as well) And this fella from the United States totally caught me with his singing. Its definitely like what the judges said, "He's like a black hole who just sucks people into his vocal performances." Take some time off, put down whatever you are doing and enjoy his excellent performances.

Presenting to you,

倪安东 aka Anthony

2009-08-31T01:10:00.008+08:00

Some overdued pictures from 2Ho1's mini movie outing weeks ago:

Dopey look-alike:

Huijuan and Adeline laughing at my Dopey lookalike picture:

With Jamie and Adeline:

In the process of acting cute:

Kelwin's idea of a fantastic pose:

Hmmmmmmmm:

Huiqi, Anadee, Jamie:

Photo Credits to Ms Jamie.L.

The one on age restrictions

2009-08-29T02:04:00.005+08:00

I swear I want/need/desire/aim/wish for/yearn for to being 18 officially.

Though I managed to sneak in successfully for a M18 movie,

I freaking got jacked by the bouncer at Zicra. Sucks to be a burden.

Which reminds me about NC16 like two years back,

when the others can go to play pool,

while I got freaking jacked just cos I am not 16 yet.

Burden.

Oh 11th November, please arrive faster.

Holidays are here.

Need to work but let's take a break for a week first.

"Is your name Summer?"

"?"

"Cos you are so damn hot!"

PWN'D! :D